“I won’t bore you with the details, baby. I don’t even wanna waste your time. Let’s just say that maybe, you can help to ease my mind!” -- George Michael (Fastlove from the album Older)
Well, I’ll be damned! I am a FEATURED columnist on a respected website. Nepotism is one hell of a thing, isn’t it? I mean, Sis, you really came through this time. For all of you that don’t know me, please allow me to introduce myself, ladies and gentleman. My name is HOV. H to the O … I’m only fucking with you. Worldfigure the polyamorous one is the name but just call me Worldfigure. What that out of the way, I have structure and rules when I blog so let’s address the latter first, shall we:
1) It is all love, groovy people. Nothing I say here (or anywhere else for that matter) is said with any malice nor is intended to inflict harm or cause hard-feelings.
2)If you don’t like what I say or talk about email me at zkristien@yahoo.com. DO NOT POST negative, hateful shit on the website. The vibe is one of love, grooviness ( is THAT a word?), and trying to enlighten you on the next BIG THING coming out of the DMV (District, Maryland, and Virginia) on the Music, Poetry, Comedy, and Dance tip.
3 Lastly, try to read and, at times, listen with an open mind. We all can learn from one another, and hearing things from a different point-of-view never harmed anyone as far as I can recollect.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s just talk about how I go about structuring my blogs. I start with a line from one of my favorite songs that usually has something to do with the central topic. Next, the initial greeting and my weekly diatribe about what’s going on with me presently. I then go to the shout-outs, then the MEAT of the blog, Top Ten List, and the letter of the week.
So, Worldfigure would like these Inaugural Shout-outs to go to Tre(Sis), Frankie Baby (you’re such a HERB, Frank), Joe Tracks, Sara Jay (The ASS that girl got on HER!!), Kelli Shibari, Tiger-Tiger-Tiger Woods Y’all (you’re not a smooth one BUT you are definitely tough), Momma Mia, that sexy chica up in Nursing Education, Annie, Sharon Foster-Williams, Kurmit, and all the brothers that are holding it down AND taking care of your kids.
This weekend I took whatever idle time I had to reflect on several conversations from previous weeks. The conversation that stood out was Brothers dating White Women. *crickets chirping*
I was on a particular Social Networking Site and a chick that I am barely friends with said “Well, I see that you sure love you some white women” … Wow! Initially, I was somewhat taken aback by the comment and then I asked, “What makes you say this?” and got the reply, “look at your friends list!”... Whoa! What does a person’s race have to do with being a candidate for acceptance on my FB, Myspace, or Twitter Page (www.twitter.com/internationalvr)?
In this particular case, black folk (especially you sista’s) can be outright hypocrites about this mixed-couple thing. You’ll crucify a brother like me for adoring the Caucasian, Asian, and “Ethnic” ladies, but when YOU GIRLS are seen with someone of another ethnic background it’s, “There’s a shortage of ‘qualified’ Black Men out here! Why do you want me to do?” Well, for starters, shut the hell up and stop with the icy stares when you see us with a fine Butter Rican or Red Head Scottish Joint. What exactly IS “qualified” because I see just as many BROKE, BEGGIN’, NON-DEGREE having sisters running the streets of D.C. as I do dudes. So, “X” Out that argument and stop being hypocrites, Ladies.
I recently took the time to ask extensively around the GU Hospital Campus as to WHY Black Men are gravitating towards the sisters. The overwhelming response was “Dog, she, simply, treats me better than any Black Chick I’ve been with” or “They don’t nag or be condescending when we are down on our swag, Kris. A black chick always has some slick shit to say on a off pay-week or when I need a couple of dollars until payday … a nigga get tired of that type of BS!” Wow!
Speaking from personal experience, a woman is a woman. There are good ones and awful ones out here in the DMV; there are black women, white women, and Latin women to name a few; and you don’t have to choose one because her skin tone matches yours, guys. Its how she makes YOU feel, not your Mom, Aunt, or Sister, or anyone else. Is she drug-free? Check. She adds positive energy to yours, right? Check. She loves you for who you are, correct? Check. Okay, so her color should have nothing to do with your relationship or Facebook Page, Buckaroos! If people started expending that making themselves a better person and stop hating on a brother’s Greek Girlfriend, they wouldn’t have time to notice she’s Greek.
Okay, so tell me … what hell is up with these dudes in these Skinny Jeans and Colorful Sneakers?!?! I am talking not just the teens; I am talking grown-ass men here, Gang! I can partially understand why young “Trade Boys” and “Coming Out Cats” would wear such outfits (and I DO NOT KNOCK WHAT ANYONE DOES IN THEIR PERSONALS LIVES, okay?), but it befuddles me as to what a grown-ass, 28 year-old, man would wear such a get-up. Really, what the hell happened to D.C.? No, NOT the DMV, I am talking about Washington, D.C. Side note: If you are the slightest bit confused as to what I am saying check my blog “You know you are from D.C. when…” at www.facebook.com/kristien.patric. We took PRIDE in being different from the rest of The Planet with Go-Go, New Balance 1300’s, The Madness Connection, Nautica Sweatpants and K-Swiss, and The Big Chair. What happened to us as a town?
Nevertheless, at one point, I was actually fooling myself into thinking it was “a kid thing” until I went to a particular Hip-Hop Club and Bar that my sister frequents and promotes and saw all of these grown-ass men with skinny jeans, oversized hats, and colorful sneakers … that don’t even MATCH the fucking hat or T- Shirt even!! Again, exactly WHEN did this become acceptable, DMV? I started a petition on Facebook but it didn’t seem to deter any of you lames from gnawing away at the male species. What’s next … Skinny Church Suits and Sweat Pants?!? What’s even more bizarre is this choice of wardrobe is actually ATTRACTING some of you women; the SAME women that dog me out for having an Italian Honey … and a Turkish one too! **wink**
Starting next week I am going to hit the club my sister promotes and U. Street and start taking pictures; Worldfigure is going that add a lamest person competition that you guys can vote on, just watch me, I promise! I am going to, single-handedly; eradicate the Skinny Jean Menace that’s ravaging our society. Oh, and to a dear friend of mine: Please don’t wear those Sweat Pants to the club again – those are bordering on SKINNY SWEAT PANTS, Fam! If you think about it them kind of look like slacks too, Dog. Let’s just call them SWACKS or SWACK PANTS, shall we? **laughing** All jokes aside, Dog, if I see you in there with those Sweat Trousers on again I am going to have to take a picture for the masses.
So, DMV Gang, if we’re talking frankly, the state of hip-hop isn’t what it used to be. I long for the days when I would have to make a mix-tape on the 120mins, yellow, lavender, and clear Sony Cassette Tape because my ride didn’t have a CD Player in it just a cassette AM/FM Joint. That was when hip-hop WAS hip-hop, Gang. That was when the fellas would make a Hip-Hop Joint for the whip AND a Slow Jam Joint before he left the house JUST IN CASE that new Betty you’re going to scoop gives you some ass. You gotta be prepared. We are talking when Video Soul, The Box, Yo MTV Raps dominated your afternoon television consumption. Hip-hop was truly hip-hop in those days. So, Worldfigure is going to give you the Ten Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of All-Time … Enjoy!
1) It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back – Public Enemy
This is easily the most sonically diverse album of any genre and one of the most controversial for decades to come. The Bomb Squad’s in-your-face, rock solid production meshed with Chuck D’s fluid, rapid-fire albeit militant delivery (“this is what I mean, an anti-nigger machine, if I come out alive then they won’t come clean!”) make for a musical opus in any known genre.
2) Ready to Die – Notorious B.I.G.
This album is in most people’s Top Five and EVERYONE’S Top 25 … but for all of the wrong reasons. Even though we were witnessing the emergence of a genius and the evolution of a lyrical juggernaut; very few people fail to overlook the amazing production and how well it was paired with Biggie’s witty yet morbid delivery. Even with a party joint like “One More Chance” and a unexpected collaboration like “The Whut” with Method Man the feel, fluidity, and atmosphere of the entire album stayed the same throughout.
3) The Chronic – Dr. Dre.
West Coast Rap’s first, blatantly open, bitch-slap and middle finger towards East Coast Hip-Hop. I remember when Sis (Tre) first brought this joint home! Maaaaan, St. Ides and Beef Lo-Mein never tasted so good.
4) The Blueprint – Jay Z
Okay – Okay, I KNOW a lot of you chumps will say Reasonable Doubt was superior, and I am inclined to agree on most levels except two: The Blueprint had vastly better production and, in addition, it was a COMPLETE album; up until that point, with the exception of Hard Knock Life, Shawn Carter hadn’t done.
5) Southernplayalisticcadillacmusic – Outkast
There isn't enough that can be said about two kids that put on a lyrical-clinic, put the south on the map, in-route to becoming Hip-Hop Icons all on their FIRST-ALBUM. For my money 3000 is the cement and back-bone of the duo but, hey, to each his own.
6) Straight Outta Compton – NWA
If you think about it, NWA was a super-group without being openly acknowledged. Dre., Ice Cube, and Ren were some of the nicest MC's the West Coast had to offer. Forget the course language, from the first to the final track the production and flow was constant and in your face.
7) Hardcore – Lil' Kim
I am quite sure there are a lot of you who thoroughly disagree, but before you go off on your child-like rant answer me this: What female MC has had a more complete and focused album? I know MC Lyte (and Lauryn Hill in MY opinion) is a better MC but we are talking about an album here. As a matter of fact, you can put Hardcore up against most of the dude's albums during that era and she stills wins.
8) Enter The 36 Chambers – Wu Tang Clan
ODB, Meth, Tony Starks, RZA, The Chef, Inspectah Deck … need I say more?
9) Whut?!?! Thee Album?!? - Redman
Redman's first and best album is totally slept on by the masses, and the reason totally eludes me. Time 4 Some Aksion, Blow ya Mind, A Day of Soopamanluva are classic in any era, and Redman was and still is a true Battle MC. Eric Sermon's heavy, funk production and a hungry Redman made for a beautiful thing!
10) Low-End Theory – a Tribe Called Quest
Some like Midnight Marauders better but it's not the superior album. In addition to being Tribe's spring board to the masses, Tribe took the time to unleash a Busta Rhymes we had NEVER seen until that point. Tribe may never duplicate the genius of this album, but nor will anyone else.
Well, gang, that's it for now. You have my opinion on interracial dating, skinny jeans, and the ten greatest hip-hop albums. If you have any questions or comments post, email, or hit me on Twitter or Facebook and we will kick it around a bit. Until next week, Smile, Take Care, and Stay Groovy.
Letter of the Week
DMV Nation this is my first blog so we haven't gotten one this as of yet. **laughing** I am SURE I will have more than enough to choose from by next Sunday! Be Peace. :)
Posted by InTheMixWithTre
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